What did we do last night that was yellow?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
