I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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