I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Randomize
