You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize