I wish I could punch you in the face.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
