Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
