there's paper in my vomit.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
