I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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