So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize