Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
