3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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