if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
then he tried to convert me to islam
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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