So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Randomize
