I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
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