brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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