He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
