Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
How's work?
Spinning.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
