So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize