I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
