this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
