he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
