Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Vodka?
Forever.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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