you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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