She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
