needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
