If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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