So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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