Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
