OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
there is glitter all over my balls
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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