I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
