I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
