Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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