is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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