Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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