Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
