my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize