a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
