you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Randomize
