I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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