dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
The struggles of a small town man whore
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
