she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
