Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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