i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize