Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
pray to the hookup gods
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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