i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
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