well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
