On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
