trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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