White coat. Heels.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
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