I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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