We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
