Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
