god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize