Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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