Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
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