I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
