You're so nebulous sometimes
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
