i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
