so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize