Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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