i think i have herpe
just one?
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
