we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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