I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
