I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Randomize
