the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
