The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
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