I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
