It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize