When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
