So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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