Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
