just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize