I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize