i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
