Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
It's blow job season.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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