the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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