wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
